A Report From the 2012 Leadership Conference of Women Religious (LCWR) Assembly

As you may be aware, last week The Leadership Conference of Women Religious (LCWR) had its annual assembly in St. Louis, MO. The media focus was on the battle between the LCWR & the Vatican (slanted towards the LCWR & against the Vatican of course). What most people are NOT aware of is what was really going on down there. But between the theme, Mystery Unfolding: Leading in the Evolutionary Now, & the keynote speaker Barbara Marx Hubbard who is a huge leader in the New Age Movement*, you can be sure it was more about New Age beliefs & practices than authenticly Catholic.

While what actually went on was a closely guarded secret from outsiders so that more proof the Vatican was right wouldn't get out, I was able to get the inside scoop as to what actually went on down there. 2 of my friends were able to get in posing as employees of the site & were able to sneak out a copy of the booklet given to everyone attending. They were also able to get some pictures of the opening prayer service. (NOTE: The wife of one of my friends told me to ask if there was a genuine, real honest to goodness, authentic princess out there. She is getting sick of the croaking. As for my other friend, they turned him into a newt, but he got better.)

While I can't share everything in the booklet, I would like to share a few things to give you an idea of what went on down there. When I am summarizing something it will be printed in blue rather than black. Any explanations by me will be in blue italics.

1st of all here is a part of the welcome message by Sr. Pat Farrell, president of the LCWR:

I would like to welcome all of you to the annual assembly of the Leadership Council of Women Religious, or as we prefer to call ourselves, the Honorable American Gaian# Sisterhood (HAGS). We are really looking forward to what Ms Hubbard and the other speakers will be sharing with us to aid us on our journey as we continue our work to restore Gaia as well as overthrow the male patriarchy that has so long held us in bondage.

Speaking of that patriarchy, you are all aware of what the Vatican has done over the past few years in its attempts to silence us and keep us under their male control. Things really came to a head earlier this year when the final report came out and they demanded that we submit ourselves to a committee of 3 male bishops to get us to return to what they call authentic catholicism rather than allowing our own truths to have equal value with what they label as truth.

I want to pause here & thank the Main Stream Media for rallying to our cause & showing us as the victims of persecution we really are rather than dissidents the Vatican claims we are. We are especially grateful for how they painted all our efforts as good works and the Vatican as the bad guys.

However, the leadership team is also aware of how much distress this has caused all of you because of having to deal with the Vatican attacks rather than going on searching for the truth as each of you sees it. These attacks have thrown your chakras out of alignment as well as causing great damage to your auras. We are also aware that the fact that we even have to discuss what the Vatican is doing may cause more harm to your inner peace & enlightenment. So, we have set up special rooms for you to go to to repair that damage. Several of them are set aside for the leading Reiki practitioners to set up shop to help with your healing. Of course there will be rooms for you to do your tantric Hatha Yoga exercises. We have set up a room with a maze where you can go to meditate and send out positive thoughts to our sisters who are unable to be here with us. You can also use the maze as an opportunity to pray to the goddess of your choice. Additionally we are providing each of you with your personal aroma therapist who will be on call  24 hours a day should the need arise.

Here are a sample of some of the workshops for those attending:

Making It Crystal Clear - This will help you to ensure that the crytal you pick out is perfectly attuned to your wavelength so that the energy of the universe can perfectly flow into you and empower you. The right crystal is also important for your being able to send out positive thoughts to those who need them.

It's In the Cards (pts 1 & 2) -  Having the right tools and the skills to use them is important if you are to give your clients the best possible counciling for how to deal with their difficulties as well as find the answers to their questions and their own personal truth. One of those tools is the Tarot cards. Yes, any deck will work in a crunch. But there are a variety of sizes & styles of the images on them. So if you can find the deck that best reflects your personality, you will acheive optimum efficency in your use of them. The second part of this workshop will help you to hone your skills in reading the cards so you can give your clients a better reading.

Discovering Your Inner Jezabel - Over the years she has been much maligned. However, Jezabel is a role model we can and should all learn from. This workshop will start with showing you how Astarte guided her and how she can guide us as well. Letting Astarte guide us we can reach the heights of power we were meant to have. We will also learn to avoid the pitfalls that Jezabel fell into thus allowing the patriarchal powers that be to destroy her efforts as well as herself while they claimed it was that false male god, הוה‎ (Yahweh), that did it.

Does the Enneigram Still Count? - Lately the enneigram has fallen into disuse as a counseling tool in many places. It shouldn't. It is still one of the most effective tools to use to help those who come to you understand themselves. In fact it is needed now more than ever, especially since the male patriarchy at the Vatican raised questions about its use.

There was also a list of exhibitors at the convention. It included this intro:

We are glad to announce that once again we had every booth in our exhibitors hall is filled. This exhibitors range from publishers as well as retailers. There are also individual booths where some of the authors of the latest in New Age books & feminist theology will be available to talk to as well as autograph their works.
The exhibtor we are most excited to have this year is that of Beelzebub, LTD (a division of Lucifer, Inc.). They will have on display the original copy of the contract that President Obama signed in his own blood when he sold his soul to Satan.

Here is a part of the opening prayer service. It was held on Tuesday evening in an open field in a secluded rural area. The nuns got off the buses & gathered arround a huge cauldron. It is resting on a huge pile of wood that is unlit. Many of the nuns are carrying various items.  So you can follow along I have included a list of abbreviations for those who said various parts of the prayers. I have also included a couple of pictures of the goings on.

P - Pat Farrell, OSF President of LCWR

PE - Florence Deacon, OSF President-Elect of LCWR

PP - Mary Hughes, OP Past President of LCWR
ALL - The entire group assembled

After everyone has gathered arround the cauldron & it is the proper time, Pat, accompanied by Flo & Mary will enter, each carrying a torch.

Picture of the three leaders before lighting their torches

P Thrice the brinded cat hath mew'd.
PE Thrice and once the hedge-pig whined.
PP Harpier cries 'Tis time, 'tis time.

The torches are now thrown on the wood, lighting it. As the flames rise the chant begins. We ask that when the time comes, each person bring froth the item mentioned she is carrying & throw it in the cauldron.

P Round about the cauldron go;
In the poison'd entrails throw.
Toad, that under cold stone
Days and nights has thirty-one
Swelter'd venom sleeping got,
Boil thou first i' the charmed pot.
ALL Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.
PE Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and owlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
ALL Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and cauldron bubble.
PP Scale of dragon, tooth of wolf,
Witches' mummy, maw and gulf
Of the ravin'd salt-sea shark,
Root of hemlock digg'd i' the dark,
Liver of orthodox Catholic^,
Gall of goat, and slips of yew
Silver'd in the moon's eclipse,
Nose of Papist and his lips,
Finger of aborted babe
Done by Planned Parenthhood,
Make the gruel thick and slab:
Add thereto a tiger's chaudron,
For the ingredients of our cauldron.
ALL Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and cauldron bubble.
PE Cool it with a male priest's blood,
Then the charm is firm and good.
P O well done! I commend your pains;
And every one shall share i' the gains;
And now about the cauldron sing,
Live elves and fairies in a ring,
Enchanting all that you put in.

Some of the dancing nuns

All danced arround the cauldron as the sang Imagine by John Lennon.
Next Pat says the following prayer, as she mentions a name, a nun brought up a picture of the person named. I won't include them all for reasons of space & time.
P Oh great goddess Astarte, we ask thee to smite our enemies that they might forever burn and suffer for daring to try to stop us from from accomplishing Gaia's will. Since we cannot burn them ourselves here and now, we throw their pictures into the flames as a sign of our faith that you will see this done.
First we curse those who control the Catholic Church and oppose what we are doing.
Here they brought forth pictures of Pope Benedict, Cardinal Burke, Archbishop Peter Sartain (leader of bishops who are to work with LCWR to clean up act) Bishop Burkewitz, Bishop Cordeleone & many others

Next we bring those women who claim to be nuns yet have betrayed our cause by siding with the patriarchy.
Mother Angelica, Mother Miraim of the Lamb of God & leaders of other faithful orders like Ann Arbor Dominicans & Nashville Dominican.

Finally we bring those male bloggers who have mocked us or lied about who we are by twisting our truths to match their lies.
LarryD of Acts of the Apostasy, Fr. Zuhlsdorf of What Does the Prayer Really Say?, & way too many others to mention.

Each day included a prayer service. The nuns were required to be skyclad+ at the Friday one, for the rest it was optional (Thank God!).

Saturday Night Banquet
The guest of honor at the banquet was Marie Laveau, New Orleans voodoo priestess. Instead of an opening prayer, Madonna came out in 1 of her infamous bustiers & sang "Like a Prayer." & instead of a closing prayer Lady Gaga sang "Born This Way" wearing only a Saran Wrap outfit. After the dinner there was a dance with the music provided by Baron Samedi & His Zombies.

Sunday Mass
Sunday Mass (or at least what they claim was a Mass) was co-presided by Olivia Doko, MA, OSB, Cam. Oblate (a womynpriest gang's alledged bishop) & Katharine Jefferts Schori, presiding bishop of the Episcopal Church. Several other womynpriests concelebrated. They were born in on a litter carried by Cardinal Mahoney, Archbishop Weakland, & Bishops Gumbleton & Trautman. The men were dressed as slaves.

I won't go into all the gory details, Ill just share what passed as the penitential rite.
At the time of what they called the penitental rite the four bisops who carried the litter were stripped to the waist & chained to posts. by the concelebrants. At that time Fathers Richard Rohr, Ron Rolheiser, Thomas Rosica & Hans Kung (yes he still is a priest even if banned from teaching), also dressed as slaves) came out. They carrying a silver charger with a whip on it. The co-presiders, Sr. Pat Farrell & Barbara Marx Hubbard each took one. As what they called each sin against women by the male patriarchy of the Catholic Church was recited by one of the 4 women, all four bishops were whipped & then responded with "We are guilty. May Gaia & Sophia have mercy on us."
For those who are curious, yes there was plenty of litugical dancing & giant puppets throughout the whole "liturgy".

________________

* I am sure by the time you get down here you have realized this is a satire. Sadly, there is probably more truth than satire in some of it. The LCWR assemblies of late have had a strong dose of New Age beliefs and practices & have been very weak on authenthic Catholicism, just as the Vatican said.

For those of who are unfamiliar with the New Age movement let me explain some things about what it is & why it is wrong for Catholics to be involved.
1st of all, in one sense, New Age is not a single movement. Instead it describes a sycretistic set of beliefs & practices that have their roots in gnosticism, Eastern religions & Wicca.
Gnosticism was the 1st major heresy to invade Catholicism in the late 1st Century AD. But it has some preChristain roots in the East as well. The main goal in gnosticism is realisation of Gnosis (esoteric or intuitive knowledge), called by some enlightenment. Unfortunately, this inner light, truth or knowledge isn't that promised by Jesus who is really THE TRUTH & THE LIFE. History is repleat with examples of what goes wrong when people seek enlightenment from other sources than that God established through His Church. A prime example is what happenned as a result of the French Age of Enlightenment in the mid 18th Century, the Reign of Terror.
Next, mix in with gnosticism a return to worship of pagan gods, which included sacrificing children to Molech. Toss in a return to Gaia worship,  sometimes disguised as radical environmentalism. Then toss in some spiritualism like crystals. Add to that some wiccan beliefs & practices. & with groups like this, add radical feminism that includes abortion as its sacramental return to worshipping Molech.
For more I recommend JESUS CHRIST THE BEARER OF THE WATER OF LIFE, A Christian reflection on the “New Age” put out by the Vatican a few years ago.

# Gaia is the ancient Greek name for the goddess that personified the Earth.

^ A few of the lines have been changed. In part because the mention of Turk & Tartar wouldn't be PC. In part because they would approve of blasphemy. Finally, the part that mentions a birth strangled babe was replaced by that of a child aborted because these ARE radical feminists for which abortion is the sacrament of their religion.
+ Skyclad = Nude