What John & Abigail Adams Can Teach Us About Marriage

I came across a post over @ Creative Minority Report  that caught my eye, What Abigail and John Adams Could Teach You.  Given my huge interest in John Adams that is evident in the title of this blog I had to check out what it was about.  

The post shared a video by a couple named Pat & Mary. It is a humorous look at some of their trials & tribulations as a couple & how they can learn from what John & Abigail did to strengthen their marriage. Like I said, a bit humorous, but in reality a very wise choice to study.

Because of long seperations between them, There probably exists no better documentation of a marriage & the trials & tribulations that can occur. Nor is there any greater documentation of a couple that truly loved each other & were truly equal partners in the marriage. While there have been some good bios of them individually & as a couple, there is 1 that disappointed me, despite some good parts. That book is Abigail Adams by Woody Holton. Too often the author tries & picture Abigail's actions as those of a protofeminist. while ignoring the more accurate motivation that explains many of them. Yes, Abigail was ahead of her time in many ways, but much of what she did can be explained by a fact the author points out at the start of the book, "First and last, she was a parson's daughter." As such, she would have been very familiar with what Proverbs 31 said about the ideal wife. & most of her handling of the family finances etc can be seen much more accurately as living that out.

OK, rant over. Back to the video.
As I was saying an excellent choice of a couple to learn from on how to work through problems as well as communicate effectively in a marriage. I repeat, the Adams were truly equal partners & relied on each other. John missed her as dearly as she missed him when they were seperated. He had no greater or more trusted advisor than she throughout his career from his time in the Continental Congress to his time as the 2nd President of the United States. & this video provides a short introduction as to why my claim is true.

I got a good laugh over Mary's concerns about how poorly her husband communicated with her at times. That echoed a complaint in many of Abigail's letters as for a while John wrote little if nothing at all in comparison to the many letters she wrote.
So here is the video, enjoy!

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Some books I can recommend include the bio of John Adams by David McCullough, John Ellis' books, First Family: John & Abigail Adams, & Passionate Sage: The Character & Legacy of John Adams. There are to many bios of John &/or Abigail to mention them all.The HBO miniseries based on McCullough's book is worth watching. Additionally a "70s era PBS series, The Adams Chronicles is available on DVD & if you can find it, there was a book based on the series. Finally, I would be remiss if I didn't suggest watching 1776. The scenes between John & Abigail were taken from parts of their many letters to one another & reworked into dialog form. They truly capture the love that was between them.