Climate Lies

(To the tune of The Eagles' Lying Eyes)
Sung by Al Gore and The CRUners
New Lyrics by Larry D @ Acts of the Apostasy
(Climate Lies )

Scientists just seem to find out early
How to open doors in politics
A perfect scam
And we won't have to worry
As long as no one figgers out our tricks!
"Day and night, our fragile Earth is heatin'!"
We'll tell the hapless folks it's all their fault.
We'll say they're why the glaciers are retreatin'
While taxpayer monies fill up all our vaults.
And we'll tell them that the Earth will soon be burnin'
Cos' of oil and CO2 and made up facts.
The media will keep folks out there from learnin'
That we're cheatin', lyin', data-changin' quacks.

Now we can't hide our climate lies
And our graphs are a thin disguise.
We hoped by now the seas would rise
But there's no way to hide our climate lies.

On the other side the skeptics are all waitin'
With fiery eyes and threats we're goin' down.
We thought we could get by without debatin'
If only those polar bears had gone and drowned!
If this had come out afterCopenhagen.
Then all these allegations wouldn't take.
Think of all those taxes we almost raked in
If no one proved our hockey stick was fake.

But we can't hide our climate lies
And our graphs are a thin disguise.
We hoped by now the seas would rise
But there's no way to hide our climate lies.

We're gonna go and pour ourselves a tall one
And curse because it isn't hot as hell
There's still a chance our careers aren't all done
As long as there's no skit on SNL.
We wonder how it ever got this crazy.
This whole event we'd rather just forget
Did we get tired, or did we just get lazy?
We wish I never built the Internet.
My oh my! We sure knew how to arrange things
We set it up so well, so carefully.
But now this goldang hacker's gone and changed things
And forced us to try and spin this cleverly.

Cos' we can't hide our climate lies
And our graphs are a thin disguise.
We hoped by now the seas would rise
But there's no way to hide our climate lies.
Just no way to hide our climate lies.

I'm not givin' back my Nobel prize
Even if this means our full demise
Honey, we can't hide our climate lies