Homeland Security Announces Updates

1st of all, they have decided that the old seal was not in keeping with how it is being run by Janet Napolitano. So they have decided to update it thus to accurately reflect the thinking behind who they see as the real terrorists, as opposed to those who take actions that result in man-made disasters. They explained their reasoning thus: "As you can see, it (the old seal) was not very politically correct. It looked far too warlike and menacing with that eagle, shield and arrows. Instead, we have had it redesigned to a much more friendly symbol, as seen below."

"The beautiful little endangered Orwellian Fruit Bat was chosen by the Sierra Club and helps call attention to the plight of our delicate ecosystem. The moon symbolizes our vigilance to protect our wonderful new government, even in the dark of night, from those that would seek to undermine it. We have added a small yellow design of no real significance, which I am assured is an international symbol of peace and friendship. We have even incorporated the Obama campaign seal, a symbol that has come to be seen by millions as a beacon of hope and change.

We hope this new seal will help all newcomers crossing our borders feel more at ease in our country. (A reminder to our new arrivals: Please register to vote at the nearest ACORN office or local Department of Motor Vehicles. Coloqúese por favor para votar en la oficina más cercana de la ACORN o el departamento local de vehículos de motor.)

While the new Administration may no longer feel threatened by the masses of undocumented future Democrats crossing our borders in unknown numbers or the many worshippers of the great and peaceful faith of Islam who may sometimes accompany them, we do feel there are, unfortunately, much more sinister threats staring all of us in the face... Conservatism and Libertarianism!

I wish to reassure all Politically-Correct Americans, that every possible step is being taken to protect our newly acquired power from the grasp of this creeping evil, but we must remain ever-vigilant, or a non-liberal Democrat may win an elected office in your area at sometime in the near future. To aid in our joint struggle against these extremists, we have updated the color-alert system developed by the previous administration and will be issuing advisories along with specifics about any known threats such as VFW meetings, future "Tea Parties" or Republicans shown within striking distance in any election poll.

Right now, we remain at Threat Level Yellow, though please be advised that Fox News, talk radio and right wing blogs are considered to be at Threat Level Orange!Updated Threat Table...

& in keeping with that same mindset, they have updated the Threat Level Table:

As part of their efforts to warn the public about all possible threats to their New Age of Hope and Change, they also created the Official Website Content Warning Badge, which all websites that contain politically objectionable content will be asked to display. As a loyal American, you will note that I am now proudly displaying that warning badge on my blog.

Source: DHS Unveils New Seal and Threat Table