L-Mart Purple Light Specials

With Lent now well underway, are you finding yourself still struggling to make this Lent all that God wants it to be? Are certain distractions keeping you from focusing on Jesus? Things like heretical songs at Mass being foisted off as hymns? Is your parish truly a desert?, with a ton of cacti in the sanctuary & sand where the Holy Water should be?

Well, I have some good news for you. There is help available for you. That help is L-Mart. My friend Jeff Miller has posted their latest catalog on his blog. They have everything you need to "make your Lent the best Lent ever". Some items will enable you to better keep your Lenten resolutions. Others will help you avoid the near occasion of sin, esp at Sunday Mass. Here are just a few of their many divinely inspired products that are geared to meet your Lenten needs in a way that the world never can.

Ashes Plug $17.99
On Ash Wednesday and the first Sunday of Lent often you will be subjected to that so-called hymn that borders on heresy named Ashes. As soon as the music starts for this song and before you hear those Pelagianism words "We rise again from ashes to create ourselves anew." the Ashes Plug technology kicks in and blocks the offending "hymn" and stops blocking as soon as it ends.

Snack Patch $14.99
Have you made a Lenten commitment to give up all snacks during Lent yet in years past you have always failed to keep this resolution?
Introduction the Snack Patch. Each pack contains amounts of all the normal crap you read on the ingredients of most snack food of additives, preservatives, color additives, emulsifiers, etc. Each week you change your patch and each week it contains less and less of your normal snack chemical soup you so love.

Portable Font $7.99
On Ash Wednesday does your parish remove the Holy Water from all the fonts? Do they replace it with marbles, sands, twigs, or basically any object but Holy Water? If so check out the Portable Font. Easily collapses and fits in your pocket. While traveling the water won't link, but with just one twist of our patented lid you can then dip your fingers and bless yourself. Holds enough water for you and your family.

Sackcloth T $17.99
Have you ever wanted to try out sackcloth, but just weren't sure how it was done properly?
If you answered yes you are a candidate for the Sackcloth T the finest in penitential undershirts and you can get them monogrammed. People might give you strange looks as you constantly scratch your upper body, but they won't know your wearing sackcloth under your work shirt.
If you want something more fashionable then you can also order are sackcloth hoodies.*

* The sackcloth undershirt was provided courtesy of Alive and Young.