Making Sense of the News (Or At Least As Much As Is Possible)

Good Ol' Boy Caveman: Hey brother Caveman, you're up on what's goin' on in the world. Can you gemme straight on some stuff I been seein' on the tellie-vision?

News Junkie Caveman: Sure, I'd be happy to, my friend.

Good Ol' Boy Caveman: Who is it that's making all this big talk about sumpin' called a 'pandemic'?

News Junkie Caveman: WHO.

Good Ol' Boy Caveman: Who?

News Junkie Caveman: WHO.

Good Ol' Boy Caveman: That's what I'm asking... who is making all this noise about the whole damn world being hit with that Swine Flu thang?

News Junkie Caveman: Exactly.

Good Ol' Boy Caveman: What?

News Junkie Caveman: Not what... WHO.

Good Ol' Boy Caveman: Huh?

News Junkie Caveman: WHO are the ones that are talking about thousands and thousand getting sick and possibly dying.

Good Ol' Boy Caveman: THAT'S WHAT I WANNA KNOW!!

News Junkie Caveman: That's what I've been telling you. WHO is.

Good Ol' Boy Caveman: Dang it all! Would you just tell me who is trying to scare the hell outta everyone, includin' me!!??

News Junkie Caveman: You just answered your own question.

Good Ol' Boy Caveman: Aww hell, lemme just ask ya this... is there anyone else tryin' to get a handle on this flu thang?

News Junkie Caveman: Oh, sure there is. CDC.

Good Ol' Boy Caveman: See what CD?

News Junkie Caveman: No, CDC

Good Ol' Boy Caveman: What CD was I suppose to see?

News Junkie Caveman: No, CDC.

Good Ol' Boy Caveman: Whose CD are you asking me if I've seen it?

News Junkie Caveman: Not whose CD have you seen, CDC in relation to the WHO.

Good Ol' Boy Caveman: Well, I sawed the movie "Tommy", does that count as a Who CD I done seen?

News Junkie Caveman: I wouldn't think so. But it's not really all that important.

Good Ol' Boy Caveman: Well, do you know of anyone who might know'd if this flu stuff kin travel through the air?

News Junkie Caveman: I would think NOAA might have some information concerning the atmospherics.

Good Ol' Boy Caveman: Whoa, I did'n ask 'bout no end of the world.News Junkie Caveman: What are you talking about?

Good Ol' Boy Caveman: Noah. What are you talking about?

News Junkie Caveman: NOAA.

Good Ol' Boy Caveman: Noah?

News Junkie Caveman: Yeah... NOAA.

Good Ol' Boy Caveman: You sure we is talkin' 'bout the same Noah?

News Junkie Caveman: I have the funny feeling the answer is no.

Good Ol' Boy Caveman: But I wonder if there's any certain individual whose suppose to be watching out for us?

News Junkie Caveman: Yeah... POTUS

Good Ol' Boy Caveman: Ain't no need in you frettin' and feeling sorry for yourself!

News Junkie Caveman: What? All I said was POTUS.

Good Ol' Boy Caveman: Po' us, indeed.

News Junkie Caveman: On that, we're in 100% agreement.

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Proudly lifted from The Lair of the Catholic Cavemen (Who's On First?)

With a tip of the fedora to its author Vir Speluncae Catholicus.